Stoner Stories
@agingboomerfl gave me a great idea for a thread, and then reading @greatspirit thread on their scariest moment, I felt it would be a good thread topic to pass some time as well as get some laughs at others' expense (mine included!) haha.
So the thread is about stoner stories, and I would love to hear all kinds of stories about your experiences being stoned. I'd love to see the scary stories, funny stories, and anything else that's happened out of the ordinary while being stoned.
I'll start off with one from a while back when I first started smoking again. One day we went over to my friends house to grill out and have some beers, as well as smoke some nice buds. After about 30 minutes and after a bowl, he realizes that he needs more beer. One thing I don't like doing while high and stoned is going out into public, especially to gas stations and stores, at least in the daytime. Anyway, we get to the gas station and my friend goes in to buy beer. My wife was parked in an odd spot, so she moved to a different spot. About 10 minutes later my friend comes back and says "Drive, go, go, go!" I'm thinking WTF, why? What happened? He got in the wrong vehicle while we were at the gas station, and sat in there for a good 5 minutes before he realized he was in the wrong car! He thought we went into the gas station but wondered how he could have missed us! We all laughed our asses off at him getting in the wrong car all the way back to his house. I think I laughed so hard I was literally crying! My wife is staring at me now wondering why I'm laughing. I told her and she had a good laugh. I'm sure that experience will have us laughing for a good while.
I have a lot of stoner stories to share, but I'd like to hear yours so we can keep the thread going!
Thanks for reading!
Comments
Stoner Story #1- Potent sativa strains create iconic stoner behavior! The soaring high from Maui Pineapple Chunk in 2018 (only a gram) was so overwhelming that I somehow dropped an envelope with $180 cash from my pants pocket at work and had to go to Lost and Found to inquire. Our quirky and nerdy security guard told me that he had found such an envelope with cash and questioned me about how much cash was in the envelope .. I replied $180.00 - After passing this quiz, I was reunited with my cash! In all, 1.5 OZ of this Maui Pineapple Chunk strain were purchased over 4 months from MM - and other iconic incidents of stoner behavior happened due to the outstanding high from Maui Pineapple Chunk -
Stoner Story :
My first ever time smoking weed It was a group of 15 kids. We all skipped school and walked to my friends house who lived nearby. We are all packed in his living room passings joints and a bong when all of a sudden we hear the electronic keypad start ringing. (someone was putting in the code to open the door) So since he was an only child we assumed it was his parents and all hell broke loose. 15 people all trying to jump out of the backyard door, and kitchen windows in the most chaotic scene you have ever seen. Some jumped into the neighbors yards some walked to the front of the house. after all the comotion it turned out to be another friend that doesnt smoke weed messing with us. He knew we would freak out so he stood outside the door and pressed the buttons on the keypad knowing they made noise. It was my first time smoking and even though I did inhale I didn't get too high so it didn't really bother me that he did that. The second time I smoked I got FRIED. Ill never forget it. Because i didn't get too high the first time i thought weed didn't affect me as much as other people so I ripped 2 bong hits and started walking back to class. half way there I remember just looking around and looking at my friend and thinking "yo... wtf is going on"... I had arrived at the shores of the mystical waynes world and I was feeling it. Obviously I didn't go back to class after that because I would have gotten caught for sure (which did end up happening eventually) I just went to my buddies house and I munched out like a madman. I remember thinking food is godly. I couldn't stop eating lol
The time we got caught story:
So its a typical day at my high school. Im in 12th grade and it's the beginning of the year. For philisophy class we had this young super hot blond lady as a teacher. We always chose her class to go high to because we knew (or thought) she didnt care. We would always make stoner jokes around her and always come baked and she never seemed to notice or care. Then one day shit flipped. We were in a computer lab in her class and me and my friend are so fried af just dying of laughter on the computer watching funny videos. I'll never forget the moment. She came and squated her cute ass next to us and says in a whisper "this is the last time you will ever come to my class high" ... me and him looked at each other and started laughing our ass off thinking that scolding is all we would get. Long story short she sent for the VP who was an ex gang task force police officer and hard ass. Me, i can get mouthy so as he started to tell us that hes taking us down for suspicion of being high i tell him he has no proof (it was so obvious were high) he explodes and started yelling "proof? i don't need no proof. do you see this as a court of law" then he starts yelling about how in the school he's judge jury and executioner. Calls for help and 2 uniform cops come and take me and my friend down to the office. Searched our person and our bags (didn't have anything on us it was all smoked lol) ... tries to call our parents but we had already changed the emergency and parental numbers to our other friends numbers. So as hes trying to call my mom he's actually calling my friend thats sitting next to me (luckily his phone was on silent so we didnt get caught for that). We each ended up getting suspended (my friend for 4 days and me for 7).. I got suspended for 3 days more because while my friend was scared and admitted to it all I decided to deny everything and ask for proof lol so that pissed that old cout off. he was so used to having kids be terrified of him he was so mad that I didn't care. He was trying everything to put fear into me and so were the cops but I wasnt having it ( i know the law well) ... yes we broke the law but it was minor and I was a minor (17) at the time with no criminal record so I really didnt even care. we had no actual weed on us either. They couldn't even get a hold of my parents so I was laughing. The funniest thing about this story is after the suspension is over which by the way was spent smoking weed and playing games we went back to school and the schedule said philosophy is after lunch time.... Anyone care to guess what we did at lunch? yes we blazed a fat blunt and then went to her class and she didn't know (this time we were way more discreet)...
I have so many stoner stories most of them involve the cops or gang members and 95% of them were from a time weed was very illegal and I was in highschool. Now no one cares lol. Weed is legal in a lot of countries and states and I see that increasing in the future. Weed is harmless all the really messed up kids from school never smoked they either drank or did crack or meth. weed is medicine. I am glad for this thread. I sat here and managed to pull up a lot of memories i didn't think I had. I will share more stories in the future. Some are dangerous but funny when I think about them now
Stoner Story #2 - Had just smoked two bowls of Maui Pineapple Chunk (~ one gram +) after work and went to the UPS Store to mail a package. It was cool that day (in December) so I wore my dark brown leather jacket with multiple inside and outside pockets. I parked my car and went inside and mailed my package. When I went to my car, I could not find my car keys. When I looked inside my car, I did NOT see my car keys. As a result, I went inside the store and asked the store manager if I had left my car keys on the counter. We looked for the keys but could NOT find them. I thoroughly checked my coat pockets and still could NOT find them. I had my cell phone in an outside pocket and went to call my wife to rescue me.. As I started to call her, I once again checked my secret inside coat pockets and felt the small zippered pocket - No keys there and no keys in the three outside pockets! Where are my car keys ? I just had them. Finally, I checked the pocket hidden at the inside right bottom of my coat - Total of 6 pockets in the coat - and pulled out my car keys. I then recalled that I put the keys there so that they would NOT be lost!! Of course, this incident qualifies as an iconic / classic stoner story. Yes, I did make it home safe and sound without bothering my wife.
I was smoking some red-haired scent with a friend in his loft apartment in his garage. while we were getting stoned he noticed some work prisoners outside working on the road with the Sheriff watching them so he pulls out an album by Judas Priest and starts playing the song Breaking The Law. It seemed pretty funny at the time.
Another Stoner Story
A short one about the first time I ever smoked when I was 16. We were out riding bmx bikes and riding down a trail, doing jumps and tricks off of a big dirt mound in the middle of the trail we made. I rode my bike as fast as I could and jumped the jump. When I came off the top of the ramp, I realized I was going way too fast and my back and shoulders hit the tree limbs above me. Not wanting to biff it hard, I hail mary'd over my handle bars and let the bike crash while I tried to land on my feet. I ended up landing on a decent size rock with my heal resulting in a stone bruise. That hurt like hell. Me and a few of the guys went to their garage and smoked out of a homemade pop bottle bong.
I didn't feel very high at all, but I did feel paranoid because I was late for supper and I didn't realize what time it was.
Also, since it was my first time, no one told me not to tip the bong over while hitting it, and I got stinky nasty old bong water all over my clothes. I reeked to high heaven of weed and nasty bong water.
So I get home, ran down the basement and threw my clothes into the washer and grabbed a plate of food and went to my room. I know my parents knew, but they never said anything about it. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I thought for sure my parents were going to kick my ass!
@Dooky ahahaha I would have tried to pass them the joint somehow
Stoner story (an embarrassing one lol):
A long time ago I met up with some friends at a party spot by a lake. Someone at the party had two joints of mexican red hair. We smoked them and some friends wanted to run to town to get more beer. I went a long with them because I needed to get beer also.
I'm going to break in here and explain something before I finish the story. You know how when you get drunk you can get the spins? To me, alcohol makes my head spin clockwise or counter clockwise. I never knew weed could have a similar effect on me, but it did when I first started smoking. The spins were different though because they were like I was spinning forward. The spins would get so bad they would make me sick.
Ok back to the story. We went to a grocery store to get more beer. By the time we got there I was so high I could barely move. As we're walking in, I started to spin really bad. I tried to make it to the bathroom as fast as I could. I flung the door open and didn't make it in 3 feet from the door and puked everywhere. The even worse part, is there was a store employee mopping up the bathroom. Oh and I never was a silent puker, it's loud and forceful (I apologize for the detail here lol). So about half the store heard me.
And yes, I cleaned it up. I used to get sick every other time I smoked which was really embarrassing. I don't really know why it did that to me. It stopped when I started getting really good bud. I've only had that feeling one other time and that's when I ate too many edibles.
Has anyone else ever had that happen to them?
@Jdtokes Its the bile build up in the stomach. You most likely didn't eat or drink enough fluids
Stoner Story #3 - It is August 1976 and I am attending my three day undergraduate orientation about 125 miles from my parent's home. The university has given us a dorm room for this event. Although I had been to the large campus several times during high school, it is my first time at the university without any adult supervision. I drove to the orientation on Sunday afternoon arriving at the dorm in early afternoon. After unpacking, I reviewed the orientation schedule which included placement tests and class registration - called 'CRISP' - Computer registration involving student participation.. The first night, a party is going on in another section of the dorm. Passing by the party room, I am invited to the real orientation event - the stoner's orientation and convocation. We are listening to Cream (Badge / White Room) and Jefferson Airplane (Volunteers/We can be together) and top shelf cannabis is being passed around. With experience in cannabis including Panama Red and Columbian Gold during high school, I thought I was experienced with good quality weed... To my surprise, there were strains and hash oil I had never experienced... Only joints were available at the party - but the very fat joints contained A++ imported Thai stick. Potency was at least 25%+ THC and produced an incredibly strong Sativa high that took me high and higher. Four hits later and I was impossibly high. The high was definitely at a psychedelic level. All 5 of us were incredibly high, when my pony-tailed host pulled out his hash oil pipe. I asked, what's that? My host explained that the glass oil pipe has to be heated from the bottom with a candle. He pulled out his one gram vial of the famous one hit red honey hash oil known as "the One" formulated from Red Lebanese hash by the Brotherhood of Love. The hash oil had a beautiful amber color and was 50%+ THC with a wonderful juniper taste. After three hits of the oil pipe, I went on a psychedelic journey augmented by the very strong thai stick!!! My thoughts were " Where am I and why am I here? The party concluded about 2:00 AM - but I could not find my way home to the dorm room. After walking around the campus for 1.5 hours, I finally arrived at my dorm home - still tripping hard at 4:00 AM. I got almost no sleep but still took my chemistry placement exam on Monday morning. By the way, I did quite well on the exam and enrolled in Inorganic Chemistry on Tuesday. I was still very , very high for the exam and did not come down until Tuesday morning - some 36 hours after the first hit of Thai Stick. The duration and intensity of this high is no way an exaggeration - I just smoked Thai Sticks / Red Honey Oil - that's all... Google these products and do your research. The last time I saw the red hash oil was 1980 and it was just as exciting in 30+ smoking sessions.... The events described above actually happened -sorry younger generation, the top imported strains from the 1970s were pure fire.
@agingboomerfl sounds like some real good times. I hear hash was way more popular back in the day too. I love the smell and feel of hash but smoking it is not as fun as smoking herb to me
Plenty of various hash strains were available in 1970s - including green morrocan, black afghani, red afghani, red lebanese, and black nepalese temple balls. Most of the hash had to be sliced with metal knives and was best sampled with a glass pipe. The high was very sedative and narcotic. Over consumption resulted in a deep prolonged sleep. The red honey oil was a liquid hash oil concentrate similar to today's live resin / shatter -it was extremely potent at 50 + % THC , with a juniper smell and taste - very strong but not harsh hitting. Side effects were blood shot eyes and TOTAL short term memory loss. The high was epic- speedy and intense tripping for 4-5 hours and a high that tapered off after a full day!!!
My uncle always talked about smoking black afghani when he was in the navy. When they would port they would all go and have fun. He said that he took a little bit and put it in the end of his cigarette. Usually they would put a small bit in the end of the cigarette and they'd still be able to function and have a nice high. He underestimated the black afghani he got and he was so stoned he couldn't come down off the perch he was on.
The last time I smoked with him was a long time ago. He would always smoke this really sticky brown weed and I never knew the name of it. We smoked a pinner and I was super couchlocked and stoned as stoned could be. I wish I knew what strain it was that he smoked.
He always talked about doing mescaline and shrooms in the 60s and 70s. He also talked about hash and red oil. He said just a little bit went a long way.
I don't get back to my home town very often, but I would love to smoke him up with some of this fine flower from here.
@agingboomerfl interesting...
Y'all I just got in my shipment of Master Kush and Delato indoor. Holy Sheeeeeeeeeet. Damn Son. This is a must. Awesome. I love the Medboy's !!!
My parent’s house, several Christmas eves ago...
Early evening: My brother in law tells me he has some bud in his car and to help myself.
Later: Festivities are over. I decide to step outside for a toke. On my way out the door I notice there is someone gurgling in the bathroom. I suspect it’s my brother in law returning from a smoke session. When I get inside the car I find a bowl of ashes, confirming my suspicions. I proceed to pack a bowl and get blasted.
Even later: upon re-entry into the house I immediately enter the bathroom. Mouth wash etc.. I decide it’s time to dig into the leftovers. I build a glorious pile of holiday delights, I open the microwave and... there is a matching pile of food, nuked and forgotten, sitting inside.
Then it all hits me: the gurgling, the ashes, the leftovers. I’d been following my brother in law step for step for step. Baked minds think alike. In the end I realize it could just as easily have been me who forgot his leftovers in the microwave... and I thank Bob everyday that that wasn’t the case.
@Dooky hows the Master kush ?? I got a quarter coming in hopefully early next week maybe the weekend if im lucky
@Moog_Joogular lol high minds do think alike !
@Moog_Joogular Haha nice! That cracked me up.
Last weekend stoner story;
Last weekend my wife and I went to visit some friends and smoke food in the smoker, smoke, and have some beers. I brought some edibles, a bud of capstone, and a bud of blueberry muffins.
We all had some edibles but couldn't smoke in the garage because of kids running around and one of their family members who doesn't smoke. So a few of us snuck off to the shed to smoke. While we're standing there, we hear a flapping noise above us. It's dark out by this time so even with the shed door open we couldn't see what was making the flapping noise.
A little bit later a couple more friends came back to the shed to join us. Shortly after they joined us, the family member that doesn't smoke was wandering around the yard looking for us all the while we were giggling our asses off like high schoolers smoking behind the bleachers, but in the shed with the door closed so he couldn't find us.
A little bit later, the flapping noise returned. So now there are 6 people in a shed with the door closed. There's no electricity so we propped up a dim flashlight against the 2x4 frame of the wall. The flapping noise kept getting louder and louder and we started hearing it fly by our heads. No one could really see what it was at the time and were freaking out and laughing our assess off. We finally saw that it was a bird hovering above us in attack mode, it was like it was in slow motion haha. Then all the sudden the bird started dive bombing us and trying to peck at us. The door was still shut and a couple of our friends were kind of panicking and trying to get the door open while the rest of us were laughing so hard we were almost crying!
When they got the door open and out of the shed, the family member was just standing there staring at us, which made it even more funny at the time lol.
Many years ago...3 weeks into an amsterdam trip during the cannabis cup. (nuff said!)
WASTED
Go to atm take out huge amount of cash for more “weed.”
Put $ in wallet with id and all cc’s
Miss pocket completely
Broke, wasted, call parents to wire emergency $.
Immediately spend it all on more weed.
@Joha - I was at work when my incident took place but it was over an hour before I realized I had somehow dropped the envelope with $180.00 (see Stoner Story #1 above) . I was still very, very high from the Maui Pineapple Chunk (with its unmistakable authentic Maui Waui genetics) when I went to the Security station and aced the quiz from Mr. Nerdy and Nosy Security guard. At least, I was able to get my cash back.... I was very amused by the absurdity of the whole "lost and found" process and had a laughing fit in my car - Still high from a .5 gram bowl after five hours ...
High school, 15ish.
About 7 ppl crammed into a crappy car. All my age
Middle of nowhere farm road
Everyone in car starts rollin up
Weed EVERYWHERE.
Farmer pulls up behind us
We all frantically hide our shit.
And try to drive away.
Stuck in mud!
Flashlight to window. Its a cop!
Everyone out of the car.
Literally brushing weed off our pants
Everyone is freaking the f out.
Cop searches car!!!
Cant find any alcohol...
Lets us go!?!?!? I will never understand why...
We hotbox the car immediately after we get to safety.
Miracle....that no one pissed themselves.