Shroom Tea Is for Everyone

georgetirebiter · March 2021

Recently I reached out to a cannabis entrepreneur about a writing job. I thought that he was really into my first assignment: Shroom Tea. 250 words. Payment? We'll talk later.

Anyway, here's what I wrote for the guy, who promptly disappeared. Hopefully he wasn't an FBI agent. I thought the audience here might appreciate it, if no one else will.

I call this piece...

Shroom Tea Is for Everyone
by George Tirebiter

People often say to me, “George, I’ve been wanting to try psilocybin mushrooms but I’m hesitant...” So I’ve decided to address some common misconceptions. I will also share a recipe for tea.

Misconception 1: The taste is awful…they grow in shit…blech, I can’t.

This is not entirely wrong.

I do not favor mushrooms as food, but I enjoy them in tea. Everyone can enjoy them this way. I use passionflower tea leaves with whatever kind of psilocybin mushroom I can get. You can use any kind of tea leaves or flower petals or roots. You can use other medicinal fungi, too. Chaga and reishi give the tea a nice color without any overt or intrusive mushroom flavor. In addition to tannins that color the water, these fungi provide many therapeutic compounds. People have been using them for 6,000 years (at least...I'm just going by archaeologist cave evidence...if you believe in radiocarbon dating...which you should, at least a little bit).

Shroom tea is so easy there’s no point putting a list in the recipe. Simply boil water and steep your shrooms and whatever else. You may choose to grind or cut your shrooms. I do not. The psilocybin diffuses out either way. I always steep the material a second time. It’s ready to drink when it cools.

As for growing in shit, you can’t blame the mushrooms. It’s their job. And the ones I consume are grown in a vermiculite medium. Yours will be, too, probably.

Misconception 2: I could have a bad trip.

Full disclosure: I use psilocybin shrooms daily. I make two teapots full, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I’ve been doing this since the world descended into darkness. In other words: forever.

If you decide to use shrooms on a regular basis, you cannot avoid a bad trip. That’s because bad things happen in life and these bad things are reflected in the trip. The clumsy fingerfuckings get their trip time just like the Moon telling you it’s going to be all right, then finishing you with oral pleasuring. I still find myself weeping in the shower sometimes…at both scenarios really.

Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh, right! Joy/not terror!

At low doses psilocybin tea is fun, pretty much 100% of the time. If I were a doctor, and thereby unaccountable for anything, I’d say, “fucking go ahead.” I’d still say that, it’s just I’d also advise to drink your tea slowly and let it cool fully before drinking.

A low dose would be 1–1.5 grams, assuming the shrooms are good quality.

Misconception #3: I can’t take shrooms because I’m on antidepressants.

You may have heard that antidepressants interfere with the psilocybin experience. That is true. You can still enjoy psilocybin, but it will probably seem weaker and less profound if you are taking it while also taking an SSRI.

Misconception #4: I could have a psychotic break. It could ruin my life.

It will be fine. And I’d say that using my own name if all this business wasn’t a gigantic federal prison rap. Cheers!

George